i just can be ashamed of my idealism
When news of the 'crisis' in the Church first made its way onto America's ten o'clock news programs, I am afraid I must admit that I did not grasp the magnitude of what I was being told. However, later, when I realized the disgusting and perverted nature of the transgressions, it swiftly became apparent to my psyche that to characterize the situation of the Church as a 'crisis', was the furthest thing from a misnomer one is likely to ever encounter.I soon started to question, and even doubt, the Church, including, God rest his soul, Pope John Paul II. My concious forced me to consider the situation critically and doubtfully.
Mr. Pope, did you know about the horrific things that were happening? Mr. Pope, did you cover up for these fiends? Mr. Pope, if you did not know, then what kind of Pope are you? Sure, you work for many noble causes, but that is no excuse not to criticize. I mean, just because David Berkowitz converts, takes on a new and improved attitude, and starts to encourage people to behave better, that doesn't mean he didn't murder people.
I don't mean to say that the Church's crisis inspired one of my own. In truth, my 'spirituality' was not shaken at all, but I did find myself having to defend my 'faith.' And my questions did not simply evaporate (no worthy ones do), but rang in my ears loud every day and more significantly on the day of John Paul II's funeral.
This is not meant to discredit the accomplishments of what has been deemed a great and worthy man, I just throw this out into the universe: Although it is respectful not to criticize, not doing so lends itself to ignorance. When 2 billion people are watching the funeral, when 4 million line up to see it, I can not imagine that no one has it in the back of their mind the psychological genocide that occured on this mans watch.
However, the silence will soon grow to be a lack of remembrance, which will in turn, mutate into an idealism that has already started to show its face. The problem is, however, that that face that is making its way towards public acceptance, isn't as ugly as it should be. In fact, its downright beatiful, and the truth is, dangerously easy to stomach.
This is my lame attempt to make an analogy to my idealism of the 50s. The only difference as far as I can tell, is that I am generations away from the truth while we have a chance to accept it and move on, to write the history books devoid of the need for later liberal revision.
We all have grown up with preconcieved notions that dominate my thought, politically and otherwise. Whether I put more stock in these than most (it's fair to say I do) is not the point. I am just wondering whether you can rate societies based off of these? Is nostalgia a scale with which we can fairly judge a time period? Most of the times and people that I idealize are conservative and I understand that that is because they are considered noble by the media and don't make controversial news (the revoking of civil liberties rarely is significantly remembered). However, it is revealing that these time periods are not always the most superficially (materially) successful and that character traits, working hard and supporting a family, outlive bank notes. The thing that is least practical and hardest to measure also doubles as the thing that gains the most recognition. This is a fact I wish my generation understood more, but I fear that prayer is in vain.
I don't know if this worked for you guys, but it helped me to understand myself more. The thing is though, I don't feel ashamed, and I don't really feel like changing. At least not yet...
posted by So it goes... @ 19:44
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